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Many people ask, how do I invite people to a restaurant, but make it clear that they each pay their own way? It’s all in the phrasing. You need to make it clear that you are the coordinator, not the host. Don’t send invitations, rather call and say, “ John, would you and Ellen like to meet us at Chez Pierre on Saturday night? We are asking Michelle and Eric, too. We though it would be fun for the six of us to have a night out together. Just let me know if you can come and I’ll make the reservation. By posing your request this way, it’s clear that you are just the social coordinator and not the host, so everyone should understand that they are paying for their own meal.
However, if you had said, “We’re hosting a dinner at Chez Pierre,” or sent a written invitation with that wording, then your guests would be right to assume that dinner is on you.
Holding the door: Whoever gets to the door first holds it for others.
Getting off an elevator: The person closest to the door exists first.
Helping to put on a coat: Anyone having trouble putting on a coat or sweater should receive some help, regardless of gender.
Paying for a meal: Whoever does the inviting does the paying.
Standing: Getting up to greet someone is always polite—and this is especially important when the person is elderly or is a business superior or client. It’s also the thing to do when you are being introduced to someone.
Walking on the outside: The custom of a man walking between his female companion and the street was the custom in the days when carriages splashed mud and ladies’ finery needed shielding. These days, it doesn’t matter who is walking on the street side of the sidewalk.
Shaking hands: Used to be that a man was supposed to wait for a woman to offer her hand before he extended his. Today, regardless of gender, people should shake hands upon meeting, and it doesn’t matter who puts their hand out first.
Helping to carry something: A neighbor or coworker—anyone—who is overloaded with books or packages will appreciate an offer of help from whoever is nearby.
